oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
