maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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