dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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