I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
