There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
