Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize