i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize