just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
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Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize