he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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