forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
