lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Maybe he injected his testicle?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
