im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
