You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
