I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
