Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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