Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
