I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
