You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
