In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
