and my herpes radar will keep us safe
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
