I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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