i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
