What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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