Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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