You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
