dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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