i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
