that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You smell like stripper and shame
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
