i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
