my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
