i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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