Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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