I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize