I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
