I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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