Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize