ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
