You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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