Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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