worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
