You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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