whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The uberlube is also flammable
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
