Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
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Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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