Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
