somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
