come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
