I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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