I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
sex in a hospital.. check
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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