we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just googled if crying burns calories
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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