is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
