Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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