i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
