He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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