Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
