you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
