I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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