so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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