oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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