Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Do vagina's smell?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
