Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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