just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
