whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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