if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
