dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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